


A Good Clean Break

by TheVelvetCoatedWonder



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Gay Shiro (Voltron), M/M, Shadam, Space Dad, Voltron season seven, adashi, and by gay shiro i mean CANON SHIRO, earth dad, i just had feelings and needed to share, shangst, what are we calling this ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-13 20:23:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15372609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheVelvetCoatedWonder/pseuds/TheVelvetCoatedWonder
Summary: I filled in some spaces between Shiro and Adam's convo as seen from SDCC 2018 spoilersOR:Adam won't go through this- again. Shiro knows he can't ask him to. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.





	A Good Clean Break

**Author's Note:**

> IVE BEEN YELLING ABOUT FOR EIGHT HOURS BUT IM STILL NOT OKAY SO HAVE THIS
> 
> (This is just titled SHIROS GAY BITCHES in my docs so. theres that.)

“So if you decide to go... Don’t expect me to be here when you get back.” 

They’d had fights before. Shiro knew they’d had fights before- it was probably part of the reason why Adam was saying he couldn’t do this _again_ , god knows how much Shiro had already put him through. But to see Adam pick up his bag, to listen to his footsteps as he left their shared quarters for one of the impersonal guest personnel quarters on base- it hurt like a knife to the gut.

It hurt like one of Shiro’s bad days, when the pain flared so bad he thought he’d never have a good day again. Adam's leaving made Shiro feel sicker than any doctor’s cold clinical voice could ever explain, than any symptom of his illness ever could.

Shiro had known what his choice would be. The moment the test results came in announcing Kerberos a death sentence for someone with his “condition,” Shiro had known that he would be leaving the Garrison sooner than anticipated- but if Sam Holt was going to give him a choice between being sick on Kerberos while seeing the stars and being sick on Earth while wishing he could be anywhere else, well. Shiro knew what he would choose.

And he couldn’t ask Adam to stay true to him when they both knew he was actually asking Adam to become a widower. No one wanted a dead man walking. 

Even though Shiro knew all these things, had thought them through a dozen times before he’d even gone into the meeting with Iverson, he’d still had a glimmer of hope. He hadn’t even realized it was there, but when Adam’s coffee cup had clattered onto its saucer with too much force for Adam to be giving good news, Shiro had felt his hope depart from him with as little fanfare as Adam himself had- almost none, just the grabbing of his bag and the hissing of the pneumatic doors behind him.

When the door hissed open again, Shiro was surprised to see Matt instead of Adam. Though he knew realistically that Adam always said what he meant and stuck with it- it was one of the things he loved about him- apparently losing hope was a continual process, not a clean break. 

Were he and Adam a clean break? Shiro wasn’t quite sure.

“I saw Adam heading for the guest quarters,” Matt began softly.

“I know,” Shiro said. “I don’t think he’s coming back.”

“You don’t?” Matt asked.

“He took his bag,” Shiro answered.

“Oh.” Matt’s voice sounded like a death toll. Shiro tried to tell himself it should sound like closure, like being able to let go of anything tying him to earth- but it just sounded like hope departing, once again.

“If he took his bag,” Matt finished, “I don’t think he’s coming back.”

“Guess I’m going to Kerberos,” Shiro replied, voice as blank as his face.

“Congratulations, Shiro,” Matt said. “You’ll be seeing the stars- forget Jupiter, we’ll be going all the way to Pluto.”

“Yep,” Shiro let his head fall against the back of the sofa, looking at the small antique globe that he wanted nothing more than to smash flat with his two bare hands, “I’ll be getting as far away from earth as possible.”

~~~

When Shiro had said far away from earth, he hadn’t meant in an entirely different galaxy with entire species of aliens not only sentient but militant and bloodthirsty.

Saving Matt had been second nature, he only hoped that one day Matt would see he was doing it for his own good. Just like Shiro hoped that Adam would see Shiro had done what he did that night for their own good. A clean break, just like Matt’s leg. That was their relationship. A clean break, no hope needed for it to make itself whole again. 

Adam would move on, not a widower, and not waiting. Matt would be safe, away from this hellscape and with no lost love for Shiro.

And Shiro would be here, not waiting, not hoping, because it had been a good, clean break.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to the instagram fam for yelling with me and i desperately hope three weeks from now after season seven this is still even just a little bit relevant.


End file.
